I have been thinking about it for months….years even. After 14 years at my desk job in the corporate world of insurance, I had reached a point where I just wasn’t fulfilled. Each day was met with “what am I doing here?” and “how did I get here?” But the truth is, I was in it because of the money. A steady paycheck. Regular vacations to nowhere too extravagant, but getaways nonetheless.
I’m an artist. I do illustrations and I make metal clay and eye bead jewelry. I love helping people, and when I learned about essential oils and how we can empower people to support their wellness, I was sold. I started an oils business along with my already established jewelry business. I have been juggling a full-time job, taking care of our mom who lives with us, teaching oils classes, and then, in the late hours of the day, doing what is most fulfilling to me – creating either jewelry or art. Even though I’d have to start my day at 4:30 to be at the bus stop by 5:45 a.m., those late night hours of creativity were the only things that kept me going. Without creating, I am not happy. Pair the lack of sleep with the hour-plus bus commute and work-drama/personalities and it just added fuel to my fire. I needed out.
It seemed that each time I showed my artwork or my jewelry, I would get supportive comments that helped fuel me. I knew I was good…but am I good enough? Good enough to make a living with my art and oils? That little voice inside me would say YES! but the louder voice of self-doubt and limiting beliefs would reign me in. “What are you thinking?” “How will you pay the mortgage?” “What about steady income.”
Still, as the time went by this dream kept surfacing. “Quit your Day Job,” it said. So I started by talking about it. I discussed it with my big brother, who is my voice of reason, yet a limitless dreamer as well. “Do it!” he said. “Your health is not worth the stress if you’re not happy.” We are both cancer survivors and working on decreasing the toxic loads of our lives. I had his vote.
I discussed it with my husband. “I’m not happy, ” I said. He was worried. We discussed the obvious: the mortgage, what if we lose the house? It’s scary when you think about it, right? But when it came down to it, he didn’t close the door on my dream. For that I am grateful. And so it was back in November that I made the decision. In six-month’s time, I would be done.
I discussed my exit with other artists, life coaches, and family. I created a “Countdown to Freedom” in my bullet journal “x”ing out the days as they went by. My best friend was in on my plan. Each day she’d call or text asking me, “how many more days?” The months went by. I prayed for doors to open to me that would allow me to succeed at supporting myself with my art. The prayers continued. And then, shortly before Easter I decided it was time to give notice for an end-of-May departure.
It wasn’t as hard as I had imagined. Simply said, I had been at this job for 14 years. A job that was never meant to become a career. I was grateful for all it afforded us, but it was time to move on.
It seems that since I made the announcement of my intention, suddenly jobs have been popping up. I was commissioned to make bracelets for a charity fundraiser and posted them online. A friend asked if I could make bracelets for her organization. I received a commission to draw a portrait. I found a builder – a massage therapist – who wants to build an essential oils business under me. It’s like all of a sudden, the stars have all aligned.
On Friday, May 26, I left my job in the world of insurance. I left the security of steady paycheck. I have taken this giant leap of faith in myself/my ability and a creative, fulfilling future. I have realized in this last month that I had been praying for these doors to open for me, but that the doors had always been open. It was me who was afraid to step through to the other side. I’ll be honest. It’s still scary, but in an exciting way. And prayer is nothing without faith and a belief that those prayers are being heard… so I have decided to put the limiting beliefs aside, work hard while enjoying the ride, and JUMP in with both feet!
Welcome to the beginning of a my journey!
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